Day 1 – Jan 9th 2017

The first day back…


I* have finally returned to work today after two full weeks off during the Christmas period. You have no idea how refreshing it was to be away from work for that long. Everything feels and smells better, and just having that time away from the people you see more than your own family…it is pretty fucking special.

*Me…I’m just trying to get by in life. I would love to never have financial problems, but the truth is that will never be the case. So I plot along everyday at work just to make ends meet. I’m the happy guy at work with a constant smile around others. I’m told I have a resting bitch face, but I’m always kind and caring. This is not me attempting to big myself up. I can be a serious cunt also. I mean, just cross me and I will turn like an animal and rip you apart! But the end point is, I am not trying to harm others. I just want to work this day, to get through the next day…and I do that with a positive attitude.

Returning to work though felt like nothing had changed, but at the same time, many things had. James* got married and is now on steroids to grow muscles and improve his physique. Keeps talking to me about a twelve week cycle. I’m sure that would make sense to others.

*Seriously this is not a joke. James was a stick of a man 12 months back. I could’ve snapped him like one, but for some reason as soon as I started to eat healthy, James decided to follow along. And just to prove he could beat me at it, he lifted serious weights. Good on him, but take a fucking chill pill buddy, you aren’t going to explode over night…unless you take steroids…which is where we find ourselves this year.

James is looking huge now. Apparently steroid usage causes your body to just fill with water. His facial structure itself has actually changed with his jaw line growing so thick, it looks like he’s had work done. The entire upper body he now sports looks so disproportion to the rest of him. I guess that’s what happens when you continue to skip leg day in favour of getting gains. Still, after his four weeks (two extra for the wedding) away from work, he seems really well rested.

Sitting in the change rooms at work in the morning can pretty much be an indication as to how the rest of the day will pan out. For instance, Andrew* sat himself down in the change rooms and didn’t move. He wouldn’t answer anyone and complained about his leg only. He laughed and smiled at jokes, but would always show us his feet saying they were flaring up.

*How to even sum up the situation with Andrew? He is close to retirement yet complains he has no money. He smokes and drinks like a fish, even to the point where he walks into the change rooms in the morning with glazed over eyes. James laughs at him being drunk each morning, but still on occasion, James has brought in alcohol for Andrew to drink. He smokes a pack a day, and complains when he is all out forcing the owner to drop everything and buy him a pack…free of charge to Andrew. They claim this is a way of keeping him around because they fear if he stops working, he will be dead in a few months.

Also worth pointing out that Andrew constantly complains about his foot. He has gout and goes on about it all the time. Yet he continues to eat a fuck load of meat and fish while also getting drunk every night. This is even after seeing a doctor and being prescribed pills. Andrew doesn’t buy them though, as the money he spends could be better spent on his own form of medication; alcohol.

I admit, I do feel sorry for Andrew. From time to time I have attempted to help him out with food and money, but I quickly learned you can’t help him. Andrew just wants everything for free, and believes he deserves a load more than you could ever give him. Soon after us telling him to visit a doctor, Andrew limps out of the change rooms and rides his bike home. No idea if he has even gone to the doctors.

What I really hate about work is the constant nagging in people’s ears to do their job. By law, every time you get paid you’re meant to receive your pay slip. I’ve been working here for over four years, and that has never been the case. I’m always having to chase up paperwork that belongs to me, and even after telling Anna* to send them to my email…it just never seems to work. So after waiting two weeks for my overtime from December 2016, I walk into the office and ask her again. “Please chase it up for me Anna, I have got serious bills to pay”…unlike those other not so serious bills haha…fucking end me. Anna smiles and apologies, I swear that is all this woman knows to do, and then turns back to her computer. It looks like she is watching YouTube, but I can’t be sure.

*Anna is the type of woman who sits in the office and after one year, thinks she runs the company. She is bossy and rude to other woman, loves the guys and tries to flirt. No offence, but I could be her son and even if she was a former model back in the 1970’s…I don’t give a flying fuck. She’s rude, lazy and spends 40% of her time at work taking care of her own personal business. That’s fine for lunch breaks, but Anna does it smack bang during work hours. Pulls out her phone and calls people to arrange transport right in the office. She must have naked photos of the owner, because she always gets away with it. Fucking joke.

Everyone else returns to work, and even though James is meant to be helping me all day, he still finds time to gossip in the office most of the day. He pisses me off, because every time he came back out to help, he’s always in a constant rush. Maybe if you didn’t take hour-long gossip breaks, we would actually get some fucking work done you dick. Anyway, just when you can’t get any more shifty, James makes up some bullshit about having to save a princess from a castle…I seriously tune out during one of his lies, because he does just to have a reason to drive off and fill his car up with the fuel card the company has. Good luck to him, but for some reason he feels the need to keep this hidden from me. As I said, complete and utter arsehole.

The funny thing is, all this bullshit happens and it is still only the first day back for the year.

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